I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of knowing your worth — especially when it comes to negotiating salary. To be honest, I don’t know how to do it well. And yes, part of it is because I haven’t figured out my value yet. I’m still on that journey of self-discovery, trying to figure out what I bring to the table and how to stand up for myself in a way that doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable or like I’m asking too much.
It’s funny how we so often settle for what’s offered to us, right? I’ve done it many times. And I’ll be honest, it’s not always the best choice. But sometimes, the fear of not having anything at all — of being stuck, or worse, facing rejection after rejection — seems bigger than the fear of being underpaid. I don’t know if any of you have felt that way, but for me, it’s often easier to accept what’s in front of me rather than risk losing it. It’s that “bird in the hand” mentality — the idea that having something, even if it’s not exactly what I want, is better than nothing.
Here’s an example: back in my home country, I had a pretty good salary. I was doing well, financially at least. But I hated my job. I wasn’t happy in my career, and I felt stuck. So, I moved to France, hoping for new opportunities. I accepted an internship in the same company, despite the miserable salary that barely covered my meals, because I was determined to switch career paths. I thought, “This is the sacrifice I have to make for the future.” I convinced myself that it was worth it because it was my chance to start over.
The thing is, though, that’s the mentality I’ve often fallen into — I’ve accepted less than I deserved out of fear. Fear of not getting anything. Fear of being rejected again, and again, until there are no more opportunities left. The worst part? I didn’t even know how to negotiate when they offered me the minimum salary. Sure, I could’ve asked for more. I could’ve said, “Hey, this isn’t enough for what I’m bringing to the table.” But I didn’t. I accepted what was offered because, at that moment, it felt like the safer choice. The comfortable choice.
Now, as I’m preparing to start a new contract with this company, I realize that I could have pushed for more. Maybe they would’ve given it to me. Maybe not. But I didn’t even ask because I was afraid. Afraid of being told no. Afraid of having to start the whole job search process again. And let’s be real — that impostor syndrome creeps in too. The low self-esteem doesn’t help either.
But here’s the thing: negotiating is about knowing your worth. It’s about understanding that you deserve more. When we don’t negotiate, we’re essentially telling ourselves that we’re not worthy of more — that we should just accept whatever crumbs are handed to us. And that’s something I’m learning to change.
I’m realizing that when we negotiate, we’re not just asking for more money. We’re asserting that we understand our value. We’re showing the company that we know what we bring to the table and that we’re not afraid to ask for it. And yes, there’s always the risk that they’ll say no, that they’ll walk away. But you know what? That’s okay. If they say no, there’s always another opportunity around the corner. The risk is worth it because the alternative is living with the regret of not asking for what we deserve.
So, I’m curious — what do you all think? How do you handle negotiating your salary? What advice would you give to those of us who are still too afraid to ask for what we’re worth? How did you fight for the fair salary you deserve?
We all deserve to feel valued, and sometimes that means asking for more, even if it feels scary. Let’s talk about it — I’d love to hear your experiences and advice.
